Last semester, the program I'm in was heavily front-loaded--which is to say that there was a lot of reading and work in the first half of the semester. This semester seems like the opposite. As a result, I'm just coming out of what feels like an eddy of serenity in a raging river of academic chaos.
Can there be such a thing as an eddy of serenity? Perhaps.
It's the kind of thing I'd be tempered to underline in one of my student's papers.
Funny aside: I was talking with a friend of mine last Friday night and he pulled out his mobile phone to check the time or something. Before I realized what I was doing, I reached out and started to take it away from him. As I would one of students. Now, that's a tired and confused teacher.
I'm hearing exacerbation and disillusionment from many in my program. It's sort of the opposite (again!) of last semester. Back then, I was one of only a few students who were teaching at the time. For everyone else, all this stuff was merely academic. They didn't mind spending every class session discussing the subtleties of Vygotsky at length while I quietly ransacked my weary brain for what to do for my next day's classes.
Now, this semester, I've got a bit more experience, and I'm having an easier time, while my compatriots are taking their first dives into the classroom in earnest. The first few class sessions for our program were stressful--teachers were edgy, eager to get to the meat at the center of the theory... eager to get some practical help.
I have no illusions about teaching being for everyone. It may, in fact, not be for me. I have a feeling that some in my program will ditch out before the end of this semester. I wouldn't blame or look down on anyone who did this. Teaching is in some ways the most absurd job in the world--as anyone who has just begun the occupation can tell you.
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Teaching is a pretty crazy job. Any job that is more work if you're absent for a day than if you show up is a job you need to consider with caution.
I totally agree with your analysis of the material in our classes in terms of the theoretical stuff. Vygotsky and such esoteric stuff was somewhat interesting to me last semester when I was observing whereas this semester I totally resent the stuff I'm being forced to sit through that is of questionable (or clearly no) relevance because I'm so stressed about and busy with teaching.
The thing I try to keep in mind is that this gets easier: certainly in a couple years it will be much easier, and every summer--while everyone else is going off to work--it gets even easier than that.
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